Author’s note: I really didn’t want to have to write this. I really liked that pub. I literally shook and was stifling tears when I saw the ‘phobes. The GRA reform is a big fight over a tiny progression, and one that queer radicalism needs to get past. We are firefighting when we should be fighting.
CW: Discussions of transphobic activism, abuse and mental illness.
This post concerns The Harlequin pub, Nursery Street, Sheffield. It makes reference to this blog post and a series of twitter threads around the time it was published.
To Liz and the staff of The Harlequin,
I was horrified when I found Women’s Place UK (WPUK) hosting their event at your pub. I went for many years and always found the service to be friendly and the atmosphere to be welcoming. I appreciated the fact that you took steps to be vegan-friendly and to foster good relations with local community groups, like the one hosting the Charity Quiz on Thursday 20th September, the reason I went in the first place.
I particularly appreciated not being harassed by staff and security when I went to the toilet which is right for my gender.
I have been hassled many times in other establishments. I get dirty looks, angry words from bouncers and even got sacked as a result of my transition a few years ago. I thought the Harlequin was a safe place for all LGBTQ+ people, myself included. Then I went on Thursday and discovered you were hosting a hate group.
I was prepared to give you the benefit of the doubt, to take you at your word when you said “I am happy to meet with anyone to discuss any concerns they have about these issues.” Then I saw your Twitter chat, laughing and joking with bigots. You got retweeted by national groups and celebrities. I was stunned by your ignorance and intolerance. Baffled when you said you “were in no way transphobic.”
I am a trans woman, and therefore a woman. I am friends with many trans women. They are also women. If you do not accept that, you are a transphobe. Keep it in mind, it’ll come up again.
You may not be transphobic, but…
Women’s Place UK are a hate group. They hate me and they hate my friends. They say as much in their many propaganda videos. Have a look at this video of Thursday’s speaker Helen Steel at a WPUK event (trigger warning) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9sGJOKmoIg – notice that she never accepts that trans women are women, and lists a number of sexual abuses from cis men. She conflates trans people having a few meagre freedoms with a slew of vile and criminal acts. Much of WPUK’s rhetoric is couched in the threat that cis men pose if they were to imitate trans women. Since they never accept that trans women are not men, they are conflating the rights of trans people with the acceptance of sexual abuse. Basing your views of what trans people may do on what cis people might do is transphobia. Conflating trans women with men is transmisogyny. Assuming someone is a criminal based on their appearance is bigotry. These are hateful perspectives.
I’m not scared, but…
What you do matters. The Harlequin is a community hub. Your word and your actions carry weight. You hosted WPUK. You made them sandwiches. You got them a burly doorman to check ID. You made them welcome and you gave them a platform when other places are well aware of the lies they spread. You are friends with the organisers, and you have been following their work for some time. That gives their words and actions credibility.
You may not be transphobic, but…
WPUK do not consider trans people to be who we say we are. Sometimes they use weasel-words like ‘trans-identified male’ to further marginalise and discredit trans women. They rarely acknowledge that trans men, trans-masculine people or non-binary female-assigned people even exist. Their persistent focus on young trans people, and targeting support groups like Mermaids, just drives trans kids further into the closet and convinces them that their identities are invalid. WPUK co-opts their struggles for an ideology which treats femininity and womanhood as territory to be defended, against enemies without and within. They have the cheek to suggest that trans people are reinforcing gender stereotypes while they pillory any detractors.
I’m not scared, but…
It probably wouldn’t even occur to cis men that they could abuse the GRA if transphobic hate groups weren’t stirring up so much trouble about the phantom threat. It probably won’t anyway. Several countries now have similar policies and no ill-effects have been observed. There has never been a recorded case of a cis man posing as a trans woman to harrass women in gendered spaces. It simply doesn’t happen. It’s an invented threat. But trans people of all genders (and cis people who do not fit the bigot’s arbitrary standards) are consistently harassed and attacked whichever gender’s toilet or changing room they use. Harrassment and abuse are illegal, and no piece of paper, official or otherwise, would be an acceptable defence: the intention of the anti-GRA campaign is not to reduce harrassment, but to ensure trans women receive it.
You may not be transphobic, but…
Debating the existence, let alone the rights and freedoms of transgender people, is a transphobic act. We exist. We deal every day with a society which denies that existence. Trans women, especially trans women of colour, are murdered at a higher rate than any minority group. We are hated, judged and killed for being who we are. WPUK say they want a “debate” about the right to exclude and oppress trans women. They have the resources to travel the country opposing the GRA reforms in a consultation which is a result of their own pressure on the government. They excluded a trans woman who was willing to engage in “debate” on Thursday because she wanted, perfectly sensibly, to warn other trans people that they were being “debated” by transphobes in your pub. No cis person ever has their gender interrogated and undermined in this way. It is done to marginalise us. There is no debate to be had: we exist and our needs are real. If you debate us, you hate us. It is that simple.
I’m not scared but…
Trans people do not have a platform on anything like as strong a footing as the anti-trans lobby. We have Munroe Bergdorf, Shon Faye, Juliet Jacques and Paris Lees fighting our corner. That’s all the trans women I can think of with anything resembling platforms in the national media. The opposition, which claim to be silenced, have regular columns in the Daily Mail, the Telegraph, the Times, the Spectator, the Guardian, the New Statesman and the Morning Star. That’s pretty much the full political spread of the mainstream papers. We are attacked in all of them. The “silenced” opposition are paid to attack us, pretending there is any “debate”.
You may not be transphobic, but…
WPUK present transitioning as if it’s a doddle. Something a person can decide to do on a whim. Gender dysphoria is a deep and prolonged discomfort, which affects every aspect of our lives and drives our mental health into the gutter. We transition to protect ourselves, then find a whole new layer of fear and hatred from people who think we are predators. They see us as perverts and abusers disguised as freaks and clowns. They refuse to allow us to represent ourselves as they present pseudoscience and “eighth-grade textbook” genetics as acedemic research. They seek to convince everyone around us that we are not ourselves, and that our identities and bodies are fabrications. Dysphoria can make us suicidal. So can the persistent bullying and harassment we get for acting on it.
I’m not scared but…
It took me two years and nine months from the time I first asked my doctor to refer me to the Gender Identity Clinic to being started on a course of HRT. That’s the same length of time it took me to earn my degree. I am lucky enough to live in the same city as one of the few GICs in the country, and it only takes a year and a half to get an initial appointment. Northants GIC has a waiting list of about two and a half years. My friends in North Wales have to travel to central London for their treatment and, like all GIC patients, face consistent denial, interrogation and gatekeeping when they get there. Medical transition is not easy and it definitely isn’t fun. It’s difficult, dehumanising, expensive and uncertain. The GRA reform would give us one little shortcut past all the misery the medical and legal establishment puts us through before we can be officially recognised as who we were all along.
You may not be transphobic, but…
Anti-trans activists have outed, doxxed and physically attacked my friends. They spy on us and destroy careers and lives.
I’m not scared, but…
We are vulnerable, and there are few of us. When we attempt to resist in any way, we are discredited, misrepresented and shamed into silence.
You may not be transphobic, but…
You had a big old giggle at our expense when somebody was wrong on the internet.
I am not scared, but…
You just told us you were thinking that all along.
You may not be transphobic, but…
You gave a platform to the people out to ruin us.
Like your initial statement, I am lying when I say I am not scared. You may not be transphobic but I am scared to death.
